Posted by Anonymous on 2014/11/12 under Uncategorized People say it hurts to be hated. Little did they know that it actually hurts more to hate than to be hated. I have been suffering for so long. I do not when was it that I start having these feelings. As much as I hate the world and people who criticize, I hate myself more. I hate myself way more. I am in so much pain. No one understands me. Some of my friends know I have been having crazy thoughts. They tried to calm me down. My best friend knows too and she would try to comfort me in her own unique way. However, the sad thing is that all my friends can comfort me more than my own birth parents ever can. My best friend tries to comfort me yet she doesn’t truely understand how I feel since she had never actually have experience my type of pain. I have been told by the old man that I am useless, don’t know how to do anything except eat, don’t know s*** and alot of other things. Yet what he says doesn’t matter to me anymore becuase I am used to hearing those words. Never once did that old man actually understood my feelings or even try to understand it. It pains me to see how I am nothing to him. All he ever wants me to do is to study, get good grades, get into great schools, and make lots of money for him. The lady is not as bad as him. However, she knows I am constantly in pain yet she just ignores it and go on with her life. She tries to cover my pain by giving me materialistic things like money and expensive clothes. I care not for the money and clothes. All I want is for the pain to go away.I am so sick of this. I wish I am not afriad of pain. I wish I have higher endurance. I wish time can stop for me. I wish I can open the door to my eternal slumber. Then maybe, just maybe, I would be able to achieve my happiness.